Saturday, September 21, 2013

Baba Booey’s Poulter-Geist



Himself
Most golf observers are aware of the mashed potatoes phenomenon (see my earlier post, Pass The Mashed Potatoes!, here).  And you golf aficionados who watch tournament broadcasts are also likely to be aware of the new smash hit, yelling Baba Booey after a shot is hit.  All of you should be familiar with Baba Booey.  His real name is Gary Dell’Abate.  He’s the executive producer of the Howard Stern Show, and you all know who Howard Stern is.  His followers have been famous for years for interrupting serious moments, calling in to radio shows pretending to be others, and then saying “Howard Stern” at the end of the bit.  Now this funny scheme has extended to the deadly serious domain of professional golf.


And the pillars of the golf establishment are pushing back to this malevolent threat with all the force that righteousness can muster, to protect that most sacred aspect of the professional game,  i.e., its utter lack of a sense of humor.  (When the time-has-past-him-by Gary McCord and the too-droll-for-words David Feherty are your paragons of your game’s funny bone, you are in deep trouble).  


Ian Poulter in particular is extremely upset by the Baba Booey Phenomenon.
Tazer the Plus Fours!
Following the PGA Championship several weeks ago, Poulter unleashed a flurry of tweets showing his anger toward the Baba Booey calls from fans on the course.


“We should be allowed to take 10,000 volt tazers onto the course and tazer every muppet who shouts out something stupid. I would laugh then.”

“This baba boo s--- & mash potato crap shouting wouldn't happen at Augusta, The Open, nor would it happen at Wimbledon. Tazer the thrushes.”

“I'm calling for @PGATOUR to step in & stop this shouting out right after shots. Message in to @PGATOUR with your thoughts. Tazer them?”

“I have no problem with this Baba Booey it's simple. @pgatour have said they will remove the few that spoil it for the real golf fans.”

“Is this the atmosphere we are asking for in golf. Golf is a game of respect and honesty . Not stupid outbursts. BA Boom.”

“I find it an issue when someone shouts out on impact miss it when your putting. Or when some calls Get in the rough. Simply Disrespectful”

“If you need to be heard on TV at golf tournaments. Can I suggest. Work hard on your game you will be seen & heard at same time. #Simple


Right.  That’s the simple solution, Taser the bloody hooligans, er, muppets, and then have a good snigger!  Leave it to a Brit twit to tweet that violent punishment for a harmless bit of behavior by golf fans is appropriate.  This in light of the fact that the news division of golf’s premier network (sorry, Johnny Miller and NBC) CBS News has reported in the past that a United Nations committee has indicated  that the use of taser weapons can be a form of torture, in violation of the U.N. Convention Against Torture, and that tasers appear to have the ability to kill people, see here.  Consequently, this suggestion is, well, to be kind, twisted, and certainly not funny.  Just like Poulter’s taste in haberdashery.  See Ian Poulter's Fashion Disasters, here.


Doesn't hurt Donut a bit
Now the establishment’s reaction to this harmless phenomenon has taken a dark turn.  First, a fan was removed from the Barclays’ Fedex Cup golf tournament three weeks ago.  A PGA Tour official confirmed that "A fan was removed for disrupting play as he yelled during Ian Poulter's backswing."  Poulter tweeted that evening “The good news of today was only 1 donut shouted out Baba Booey and he was swiftly removed from the premises.”  Donut??  Presumably this pernicious pastry, this dastardly dunker was taken to the nearby Hudson River and waterboarded within an inch of its life for this serious crime.


So, in honor of Poulter’s British roots, let’s have a sing-along with Monty Python, one of Britain’s greatest creations and the anti-Poulter  when it comes to a sense of humor.  Insert the words “touring pro” for “lumberjack’, think of Ian wearing a nice fur trapper hat and red flannel shirt and have a blast.







AMDGTM

© 2012-13 R.E. Kelly

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Stop The (Call In) Madness !!



I never thought I would see the day that I agree with Tiger Woods and believe he was treated unfairly, particularly since Woods has repeatedly demonstrated his personal  belief that he exists above the rules, both on and off the course.  But the situation has now moved to ridiculous extremes.  As I posted earlier, who are these geeks that watch tournaments and call in these supposed infractions?  How do they know what number to call?  Can’t they get a life?
But now, Woods has run afoul not of a caller watching from his out-of-bounds-cave, but by a videographer working for the PGA itself!  As reported by the Associate Press last Friday on Golf.com:
Tiger Woods was involved in another rules violation Friday in the BMW Championship, this time getting the two-shot penalty before he left the golf course.
Video evidence indicated that his golf ball moved ever so slightly as Woods was removing a twig from an area under the trees behind the first green at Conway Farms. What made this case unusual is that the video was taken by a videographer working for PGA Tour Entertainment, and the infraction was noticed by someone editing the film.
Slugger White, vice president of competition at the PGA Tour, stopped Woods before he signed for a 70. Woods didn't believe the ball moved out of its position, and White said the world's No. 1 player still wasn't convinced after watching the video.
"He said he didn't feel he could see that," White said. "I felt like that was OK, but the ball did move."
Unlike the incident at the Masters, a television viewer did not call in the possible infraction. White said a freelance camera man working for the tour captured it on video. An editor at headquarters going over the footage thought there was movement of the ball and notified the PGA Tour.
The film was sent over to tour officials on site at Conway Farms, and it was reviewed at the tournament before bringing in Woods for consultation.
The movement was slight, though it appears to have moved down when Woods touches a small branch to the right of the golf ball, and it doesn't appear to return to its original position. White said Woods could not have seen that from his position looking down at the top of the ball.
Woods accepted his two-shot penalty at the Masters when he became aware of his bad drop. Friday was different. Even after looking at the video, Woods wasn't convinced the ball moved from its position.
"He knew there was movement there, but it's like (he) was very adamant that it oscillated - it stayed there," White said. "But this video was at the site, and the ball did in fact move."  (Check out the video here.)  

Perhaps this is overreaction by rules officials to their generous application of Rule 33-7 at this year’s Masters tournament, or to Woods’ history of liberal ball drops, such as his notorious drop in the TPC earlier this year, or simply to his condescending personality in general, but come on!  If you need the Hubble Telescope to
I see it!  Yes, his ball moved, I think
decide whether a ball has moved or not, then the time has come to stop the madness and to bar all forms of outside callers and third party communications.  Golf has always been a “gentleman’s (or gentlewoman’s) game”.  Let’s keep it that way. 

Perhaps Woods’ behavior last Friday was a technical violation of the rules.  But did Eldrick really gain an advantage in that situation?  After the alleged violation, Woods duffed his ball 10 feet and then scored a six on the hole anyway.  And two more strokes were added on because of a PGA videographer zeroing in with a telescopic lens to watch Woods’ ball as he moved a twig in the wooded, dense underbrush ?  Watch here, if you haven’t seen it already.  Putting aside the fact that no other golfer in the tournament was subject to this type of scrutiny, are we going to allow technology to destroy the game of golf even further than it already has, with players using souped up clubs to hit souped up balls farther than the courses can hold them?    It’s bad enough that technology has destroyed the challenge of the sport for professional golfers, are we now going to let technology alter the fundamental code of the game as well?  Stop the madness!

Even the PGA seems to have gotten the idea, if Commissioner Tim Finchem's "difficult and awkward" quote  is to be believed.  See his quotes here.  If it means changing the rules which  currently require the tournament officials to consider the content of calls about possible rules violation, then change the rules.  PGA officials must not oscillate; there must be significant movement to change the rules and bar outside parties from inserting themselves in the results of the tournament.

Check out PGA Rules Decision 18/2, which states as follows:

Ball Oscillates During Address
Q.In addressing the ball, a player accidentally causes the ball to oscillate, but it returns to its original position. Has the ball "moved"?
A.No.

So oscillate all you want, but don’t let that ball move. Absolutely ridiculous.  Stop the madness, now.  To quote the great American composers George and Ira Gershin. Let’s call the whole thing off!!
You say tomato, I say tomahto
You eat potato and I eat potahto
Tomato, tomahto, potato, potahto
Let's call the whole thing off

You say oscillation, I say it’s movement
You say it’s movement and I say oscillation
Oscillation, no, movement; movement, no, oscillation
Let's call the whole thing off.
AMDGTM
© 2012-13 R.E. Kelly

Tiger Penalized For Moving Ball

Way, way too easy.