Hit That Funky Golf Ball, White Boy

Caddies, as was discussed in a prior post, are a dying breed.  Yes, every pro has one, but in the not too distant past, every golfer at a country club was required to take one as well.  “Looping” or carrying the bag around the loop (or course) was a way of life for many folks with no other access to the country club life.   And it was a great way to make some extra income for students in the summertime. 

It's a lost art and a fading profession.  It used to be that every private course had a corps of men ready to shag your bag.  Caddies have been victims of the technological age.  In their desire for comfort and a wrongheaded notion of speeding up the game, carts have replaced caddies like the Model T replaced the horse and buggy in an earlier era.  (I find it ironic that the Masters Tournament was roundly criticized for forcing the tournament golfers to use the club's caddies exclusively up until the 1980s.  The caddies were almost exclusively black, and there was a bit of controversy  about the fact that all the golfers were white and all the caddies black.   Now, spot the black caddy at the Masters or any other PGA tournament for that matter and win a prize.  The lily-white sport is now lily-white on both sides of the bag.)  

They Were White Back Then, Too

This is a shame, for many reasons, not the least of which is the oral tradition of great golf stories lost by the demise of the caddy.  So I went on a search for the World's Oldest Working Caddy, the man who has seen it all.  I found him, still shagging bags and walking rounds at a respectable country club in Westchester County, New York.  He had seen them all, from Bobby Jones and Sarazen to Snead, Hogan and Nelson, Palmer and Nicklaus to Watson to Tiger Woods.  Of course, he had seen his fair share of duffers, too.  Working at country clubs, most if not all were of the Caucasian variety.  And this was this his favorite song

HIT THAT FUNKY GOLF BALL, WHITE BOY

Original Song: Play That Funky Music

Author/Composer: Rob Parissi

Publisher: Epic

I used to be a caddie, shaggin' for the

white boys all day

I never had no problems, no

At least the white boys know how to pay

Then everyone I looped for

Was hittin' every shot out of bounds

So I decided quickly

To open up and say what I'd found

Cause they were hackin' and swingin'

and rippin' up big divots

And just then one hit me

And so I shouted out

Why don't you hit that funky golf ball, white boy

Hit that funky golf ball real straight

Hit that funky golf ball, white boy

Pitch it and putt it and hit those practice buckets

'til its right

At first it wasn't easy, keepin' work and speakin'

my mind

I just knew I wasn't gonna

Keep kissin' those white boys' behinds

But now it's so much better

Drivin' those carts most every day

And I'll never lose that feeling

Of how I gave a lesson that day

Cause they were hackin' and swingin'

and rippin' up big divots

And just then one hit me

And so I shouted out

Why don't you hit that funky golf ball, white boy

Hit that funky golf ball real straight

Hit that funky golf ball, white boy

Pitch it and putt it and hit those practice buckets

'til its right

AMDG^TM

© 2012-14 R.E. Kelly

The End of Civilization Part 1954

Here is more proof that civilization as we know it is coming to an end. 

The Justin Bieber Video, Baby, featuring Ludacris is the second most watched music video of all-time, with more than 1.1 billion (with a “b”) views.  On the other hand, this video of Elvis Costello and the Attractions  singing Nick Lowe’s classic (What's So Funny ‘Bout) Peace, Love, And Understanding has 140,00 hits.  The Prince of Peace certainly would agree with Mr. MacManus as we celebrate His birthday worldwide tomorrow.  

Peace To the World!

AMDG^TM

© 2012-14 R.E. Kelly

A Well Deserved Honor

During a period of time when the negative side of race relations is dominating the headlines, it is nice to note a positive bit of news on that front.  On November 24, 2014, eighteen civilians, including World Golf Hall of Famer Charlie Sifford, received the Presidential Medal of Freedom from President Barack Obama.  To those of you who may not be entirely familiar with Mr. Sifford, here is his bio produced by the White House for the ceremony:

Charles Sifford

Charles Sifford was a professional golfer who helped to desegregate the Professional Golfers’ Association, despite harassment and death threats. He started his life on the links as a caddy, and though he was formally excluded from the PGA for much of his career because of the color of his skin, he won six National Negro Opens. In 1960, he won his challenge over the PGA’s “Caucasian only” membership policy. He went on to win official PGA events and the PGA Seniors’ Championship. He was inducted in the World Golf Hall of Fame in 2004 and received an honorary doctor of laws degree from the University of St. Andrews in 2006.

Golf's Jackie Robinson

(The official PGA events won by Sifford were the 1967 Greater Hartford Open Invitational and the 1969 Los Angeles Open, as well as the 1975 PGA Seniors' Championship and the 1980 Suntree Classic on what is now the Champions Tour.)  Sifford was the only sports figure to receive the award in this year’s ceremony. 

The Presidential Medal of Freedom is the Nation’s highest civilian honor, presented to individuals who have made especially meritorious contributions to the security or national interests of the United States, to world peace, or to cultural or other significant public or private endeavors.  Prior to Sifford, only two golfers, Arnold Palmer in 2004 and Jack Nicklaus in 2005, had been awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom. 

At the end of the ceremony, the President described the gifts that these extraordinary individuals have given to the American people:

"We thank all of them for the gifts they’ve given to us, the incredible performances, the incredible innovation, the incredible ideas, and the incredible expressions of the human spirit. And not only have they made the world better, but by following their example, they make us a little bit better every single day." 

Now, the cynical among you might be thinking, “ “It must have been extremely difficult for him, but thank goodness Charlie Sifford broke the color barrier like Jackie Robinson did in baseball to open the way for today’s African-American pro golfers like Tiger Woods, and, uh, and…”  The fact that the number of African-American golfers who currently own a tour card is less than the number of wedges carried in most pros’ bags offers a depressing commentary on the status of golf in America in 2014.  According to this amazing article by Michael Bamberger in Golf.com, entitled “Where Are all The Black Golfers?”,

“ At the 2012 PGA Minority Collegiate Golf Championship, the winning squads from the men's and women's draws (Texas Pan-American and Bethune-Cookman, respectively) didn't have a single black golfer on their rosters.” (!!!)  

Perhaps even more striking, the 2014 U.S. Open, America’s national golf championship, did not have a single African-American participant.

The provenance of the de facto segregation in the sport is largely economic, as it is the country clubs, they of the expensive membership fees and not the publinx, that produce almost all the college golfers who eventually end up on tour. But the dearth of black golf pros was not the case after Sifford broke the color line in 1960.  In the mid-1980s, Calvin Peete and Jim Thorpe combined for 15 tour wins. Black pioneers such as Pete Brown, Charlie Sifford and Lee Elder preceded them, each enjoying success.  In 1964, Pete Brown became the first African-American player to win a PGA-sanctioned event, the Waco Turner Open. He also won the 1970 Andy Williams San Diego Invitational. In 1975, Lee Elder became the first African-American to play in the Masters. He missed the cut, but went on to win four times on the PGA Tour and eight times on the Champions Tour.  He was also the first African-American to play in the Ryder Cup in (1979).

In 1979, Calvin Peete won the 1979 Greater Milwaukee Open, the first of his 12 career PGA Tour victories. Peete was the most prolific African-American winner until Tiger Woods.  Other notable African-American pros were Jim Dent (he won 12 Senior/Champions Tour 
tournaments between 1989 and 1998).

Thank You, Charlie

It was the rise of the golf cart hegemony and the death of the caddie in golf that ended opportunities for black folk like Sifford to learn the game.  Almost all of the aforementioned golfers learned their trade by caddying.  Now that caddies have gone the way of the dodo (Raphus cucullatus to its friends), opportunities to learn the game no longer exist for those that cannot afford the membership fees at country clubs or the greens fees at tony daily-fee courses.  So the Tour remains for the most part lily-white, and the promise of increased numbers of minority golfers offered by the early success of Tiger Woods remains a pipe dream.

 

AMDG^TM

© 2012-14 R.E. Kelly