Val-deri, Val-dera, Or, Why Golf Will Never Have The Mass Appeal Of Other Major Sports

Before we get to the rest of this post, please read this marvelous Jonah Keri piece here .  And I dare you not to shed a tear at the end of this story, especially if you are a  parent . (I shed several.)

Spoiler Alert:   My grandfather, an extremely kind man, also took me to my first major league baseball game.  It was at the old (first iteration) Yankee Stadium.  I can’t remember the identity of the opponent; what I do remember was entering the Stadium and walking down what seemed like a long dark tunnel to reach the seats behind first base, and at the end of this dark tunnel was an aperture through which was framed the most brilliant patch of green I had ever seen.  I also remember the gentlemen sitting next to us betting pennies and nickels on every pitch.  “Penny says it’s a ball”.  “Stee-rike” “Pay up.” The “No Gambling” warning painted on the infield wall had little deterrent on these gentlemen, who it must be said, were having the time of their lives.  (I also had to ask what the now-quaint “No Pepper Games” sign meant.)

Golf will never hold this appeal to fans, young and/or old.  Sorry, it just won’t.  The memories of attending a golf tournament as  youth with a parent or grandparent will always pale in comparison to the memory of the first time you go to a major league baseball game or a football game.  That’s because, among other things, a young sports fan cannot root for a team in golf.  You can only root for an individual star, and there are so few that capture a fan’s imagination.  Like the King, our dear Arnie, who just left us.  Like Jack Nicklaus, who never inspired us like Arnie but whose adulation now by the golf fans all over the world exceeds all other living golfers (as did his game.)  Perhaps that’s why the golf world is still fascinated with Tiger Woods, whose personal flaws and recent physical decline has diminished his aura considerably.  But the flame of a fan for a favorite golfer must wane with the inevitable decline of the golfer's career over time, wherein a fan’s ardor for his or her favorite team theoretically may never be extinguished, regardless of the waxing or waning of the team’s fortunes on the field. (In the wake of the Cubs' historic victory in the 2016 World Series there were stories of people visiting family grave sites to pass along the wonderful news of the Cubs'  victory generations of fans in the making.  Try to imagine people rushing out to the family mausoleum after Tiger wins his 18th major tournament, in the unlikely event this would ever occur, which, of course,  it won't.)

I believe Brandel Chamblee of Golf Channel fame has previously proposed a pro golf league with teams located in major American cities, much like the World Team Tennis format which has been successful over the years.  It’s an interesting idea, whose time may never come.  In the interim, there will never be a movie made with respect to the sport of golf in which the imaginary character at the end of the movie throws Kevin Costner a glove and asks him if he wants to play catch in the Field of Dreams and instantaneously reduces every guy in the theater to sobbing mush.  Meanwhile, the popularity  of the game of golf continues to plummet. 

In honor of Jonah Keri, here are the lyrics to the Expos' unofficial fight song which greeted him at Expos’ Stadium on that fateful first trip to the park  in 1982. No parody here; the lyrics, a trip back in time (the song was originally recorded in 1953),  are entertaining enough.   Congratulations, Tim; Congratulations, Jonah.

THE HAPPY WANDERER

I love to go a-wandering
Along the mountain track
And as I go, I love to sing
My knapsack on my back

Val-deri, val-dera
Val-deri, val-dera
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
Ha
Val-dera
My knapsack on my back

I love to wander by the stream
That dances in the sun
So joyously it calls to me
Come join my happy song

Val-eri, val-dera
Val-deri, val-dera
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
Ha
Val-era
Come join my happy song

I wave my hat to all I meet
And They wave back to me
And blackbirds call so loud and sweet
From ev'ry green wood tree

Val-eri, val-dera
Val-deri, val-dera
Val-deri, val-dera

Oh, may I go a-wandering
Until the day I die
Oh, may I always laugh and sing
Beneath God's clear blue sky

Val-eri, val-dera
Val-eri, val-dera
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
Ha
val-dera
Beneath the clear blue sky

Beneath the clear blue sky

Written by Antonia Ridge, Friedrich Wilhelm Moeller • Copyright © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc

                                                                    AMDG

© 2012-2017 R.E. Kelly