Celebrate Hogmanay!

Whether the world knows it or not, tonight a large swath of humanity pays homage to Robert Burns, the poet laureate of Scotland.  His poem and song, Auld Lang Syne, written in 1788, will be sung at midnight by hundreds of millions of people around the globe, and I would guess that only a minuscule percentage of those revelers will know who wrote it and what it means.

While I could find no reference to Robert Burns playing golf during a quick trip through the Internet, I believe he was a sportsman, as he was a member of the Royal Company of Archers in 1792.  And Burns was born in Ayrshire, home of several of the world’s greatest courses (Royal Troon, Turnberry and Prestwick, the home of the first Open Championship).  

While the game of golf predates Auld Lang Syne by centuries (the first documented mention of golf in Scotland appears in a 1457 Act of the Scottish Parliament, an edict issued by King James II of Scotland prohibiting the playing of the games of golf and football  as these were a distraction from archery practice for military purposes) it’s hard to imagine a true Scotsman who does not (and for many centuries did not) have golf in his blood.   

So give a passing thought to  Rabbie (not Rabbi) Burns when you drunkenly warble his melancholy tribute to days gone by at midnight tonight, and dream later of making memories in the future from rounds of golf played with family and friends.

No One Challenges Me With Impunity!

Here are the original words to perhaps the world’s most famous poem:

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and auld lang syne?

CHORUS:

For auld lang syne, my jo,
for auld lang syne,
we'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

And surely ye'll be your pint-stoup!
and surely I'll be mine!
And we'll tak' a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We twa hae run about the braes,
and pou'd the gowans fine;
But we've wander'd mony a weary fit,
sin' auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We twa hae paidl'd in the burn,
frae morning sun till dine;
But seas between us braid hae roar'd
sin' auld lang syne.

Image courtest of the Royal Company of Archers.
Licensed in Creative Commons

AMDG

Does Anybody Really Know What Time or When?

So, when does the PGA Tour (the official home of the Fedex Cup, by the way) start up again?  What, it already has?  Wait, there have been ten tournaments already, seven of them awarding Fedex Cup points?  Why haven’t I seen them on TV?  Oh, most of these tournaments weren’t on network television, just the Golf Channel? And they were played in places like Kuala Lumpur, Shanghai China , Playa del Carmen, Mexico, Melbourne Australia (not Florida) and the Bahamas?  Why not play in the U.S. in places like Napa, California and Jackson, Mississippi?  Oh, they did?

And Tiger Woods made a comeback (of sorts) at the  at Albany, New Providence, the Bahamas?  How did I miss that?

Well, I’m confused.  Like the great band Chicago (originally the Chicago Transit Authority, and finally elected into the Rock and roll Hall of Fame in last year’s class, after a scandalously long wait) asks, Does anyone really know what time it is?

 

25 Or 6 To 4 Is My Handicap

Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?

Written by Robert William Lamm

 Copyright © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc,

Universal Music Publishing Group, BMG Rights Management US, LLC

As I was walking off the green one day
A man came up to me and asked me when the PGA Tour was going to start this year ,
And I said

Does anybody really know when the PGA starts

Does anybody really care
If so I can't imagine why, no, no
We've all got time before Hawaii

And I was walking off the course  one day
A pretty lady looked at me and said her pitch shot had stopped cold dead
And I said

Does anybody really know when the PGA starts

Does anybody really care
If so I can't imagine why, no, no
We've all got time before Hawaii

And I was walking along the Hope Challenge ropes
Being pushed and shoved by people
Trying to see Tiger, oh, no I just don't know
I don't know, I don’t know, oh

And I said, yes I said

Does anybody really know when the PGA starts

Does anybody really care
If so I can't imagine why, no, no
We've all got time before Tiger wins again

                                                     Copyright R.E. Kelly 2012-2017
                                                                   AMDG 

Image by Nico Brussels.

Waiting for Goydos, er, Godot, no, Tiger

Waiting for Godot, the 20th-century existential masterpiece by Samuel Beckett, spends several hours during the play examining two characters who essentially end up doing nothing and appear to have no meaning. (See final episode of Seinfeld for the modern-day version of WFG.) . The main characters,Vladimir and Estragon,  spend the better part of two days onstage (and apparently a great deal of time outside the parameters of the play) waiting for a person, Godot,  that is expected any minute now, but never comes.  The playwright, Samuel Beckett, was tight-lipped as to the meaning of the play, leaving critics, academics and  theatergoers to draw their own widely-varied conclusions.  The play itself might be summed up in the first line of the play, which is repeated throughout, “Nothing to be done.”

 

The Golf World is a Lonely Place Without Tiger

Speaking of nothing to be done, after announcing that he was returning to the PGA Tour after a 14-month hiatus, Woods dramatically renounced his commitment to play in the Safeway Open in Napa, California three days before the event was to start several weeks ago.  Woods also announced his  withdrawal from the Turkish Airlines Open to be played November 3-6, 2016.

“After a lot of soul searching and honest reflection, I know that I am not yet ready to play on the PGA Tour or compete in Turkey,” Woods wrote on his web site. “My health is good, and I feel strong, but my game is vulnerable and not where it needs to be.”

In Tiger’s absence , Brendan Steele took home the Safeway Open’s $1,080,000 first place prize.

Now the golf world waits with bated breath to see if Tiger will honor his commitment to play in the  Hero World Challenge to be played in the Bahamas December 1-4, 2016.  This tournament benefits the Tiger Woods Foundation so there is every incentive for Tiger to participate.  If his game is still ”vulnerable”, then like Estragon and Vladomir, the golf world, assured that Woods will  arrive soon, will wait, bickering, contemplating self-destruction, but, knowing we will be saved when he arrives, we do not move.

Carly Simon foretold our existential dilemma many years ago.  Or just wrote a ketchup commercial.  In any event, for Tiger, these may be the good old days.

Carly Waits, Also

ANTICIPATION

Written by Carly E. Simon

Copyright © Universal Music Publishing Group,

BMG Rights Management US, LLC

We can never know about the rounds to come
But we think about Tiger anyway, PGA
And you wonder if you’re game is really with it now
Or if you’re chasin' after some fat pipe dream

Anticipation, anticipation
Is makin' you late
Is keepin' us waitin'

And I tell you how easy it feels to root for you
And how right the Hero Challenge could be
But I, I rehearsed those lines just late last night
When I was thinkin' about how right Augusta might be

Anticipation, anticipation
Is makin' you late
Is keepin' us waitin'

Game vulnerable,  you might not win another
I'm no prophet and I don't know swing coach’s ways
But I'll try and hazard a guess  right now
You’ll stay on fourteen 'cause these are the good old days

And stay right there 'cause these are the good old days
(These are the good old days)
(These are the good old days)
(These are the good old days)
(These are.....the good old days)

And stay on fourteen  'cause these are the good old days
(These are the good old days)
(These are the good old days)
(These are the good old days)
(These are.....the good old days)

AMDG

Copyright R.E. Kelly 2012-2017

Peerless Ryder Cup Predictions 2016

Peerless Ryder Cup Predictions 2016.  Here goes nothing:

The death of Arnold Palmer will cast a pall over the Ryder Cup proceedings this weekend at Hazeltine.

The ghost of Arnold Palmer will guide the hand of Jordan Spieth as he sinks the winning putt on the final hole on Sunday in his singles match against Rory McElroy to bring the Cup back home to the United States.

On th other hand, Rory McElroy, the hottest golfer on the planet right now, will win all his matches and lead the Euros to victory in Ryder Cup 2016.

 
Ryan Moore, the last player picked by Captain Davis Love IIIwill accumulate more points than 10 of the other 11 players on the US Ryder Cup team.

While I am convinced that Arnie will be watching and rooting on the U.S. Team from golf's  Valhalla (aptly named of course) even the King will not be able to save the heavily favored Americans from defeat by the upstart Europeans to win Ryder Cup 2016.

Dustin Johnson will play four matches and win one.

 

If the Euros win, the 2016 Ryder Cup will be known as the Collapse at Chaska, or the Horror at Hazeltine.

Copyright R.E. Kelly 2012-2016 

AMDG