Hit That Funky Golf Ball, White Boy

Caddies, as was discussed in a prior post, are a dying breed.  Yes, every pro has one, but in the not too distant past, every golfer at a country club was required to take one as well.  “Looping” or carrying the bag around the loop (or course) was a way of life for many folks with no other access to the country club life.   And it was a great way to make some extra income for students in the summertime. 

It's a lost art and a fading profession.  It used to be that every private course had a corps of men ready to shag your bag.  Caddies have been victims of the technological age.  In their desire for comfort and a wrongheaded notion of speeding up the game, carts have replaced caddies like the Model T replaced the horse and buggy in an earlier era.  (I find it ironic that the Masters Tournament was roundly criticized for forcing the tournament golfers to use the club's caddies exclusively up until the 1980s.  The caddies were almost exclusively black, and there was a bit of controversy  about the fact that all the golfers were white and all the caddies black.   Now, spot the black caddy at the Masters or any other PGA tournament for that matter and win a prize.  The lily-white sport is now lily-white on both sides of the bag.)  

They Were White Back Then, Too

This is a shame, for many reasons, not the least of which is the oral tradition of great golf stories lost by the demise of the caddy.  So I went on a search for the World's Oldest Working Caddy, the man who has seen it all.  I found him, still shagging bags and walking rounds at a respectable country club in Westchester County, New York.  He had seen them all, from Bobby Jones and Sarazen to Snead, Hogan and Nelson, Palmer and Nicklaus to Watson to Tiger Woods.  Of course, he had seen his fair share of duffers, too.  Working at country clubs, most if not all were of the Caucasian variety.  And this was this his favorite song

HIT THAT FUNKY GOLF BALL, WHITE BOY

Original Song: Play That Funky Music

Author/Composer: Rob Parissi

Publisher: Epic

I used to be a caddie, shaggin' for the

white boys all day

I never had no problems, no

At least the white boys know how to pay

Then everyone I looped for

Was hittin' every shot out of bounds

So I decided quickly

To open up and say what I'd found

Cause they were hackin' and swingin'

and rippin' up big divots

And just then one hit me

And so I shouted out

Why don't you hit that funky golf ball, white boy

Hit that funky golf ball real straight

Hit that funky golf ball, white boy

Pitch it and putt it and hit those practice buckets

'til its right

At first it wasn't easy, keepin' work and speakin'

my mind

I just knew I wasn't gonna

Keep kissin' those white boys' behinds

But now it's so much better

Drivin' those carts most every day

And I'll never lose that feeling

Of how I gave a lesson that day

Cause they were hackin' and swingin'

and rippin' up big divots

And just then one hit me

And so I shouted out

Why don't you hit that funky golf ball, white boy

Hit that funky golf ball real straight

Hit that funky golf ball, white boy

Pitch it and putt it and hit those practice buckets

'til its right

AMDG^TM

© 2012-14 R.E. Kelly