RIP Robin Williams

It is ineffably sad that Robin Williams is no longer with us.  If you are not old enough to know him as a comic and only as a movie and television actor then please google his standup routines from his younger days on YouTube.  (Robin Williams Live at the met in 1986 is a classic – be prepared for adult language and concepts, however.)  Quite simply, he was as brilliant a standup comic as there ever has been.  In my Mount Laughmore of comedians he is featured prominently along with Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor and Eddie  Murphy.  You might also want to google his standup routine discussing golf. It is indescribably hilarious. (Again, adult language warning.)   RIP Robin Willams. May flights of angels sing 

thee to thy rest.

AMDG^TM

© 2012-14 R.E. Kelly

The Paul Revere Song

Enrique Iglesias’s new hit is entitled Bailando. The Spanish version features  Descemer Bueno, and Gente De Zona; the English version ads Sean Paul.  The video en Espanol and in English also features a younger, hotter (if that’s humanly possible) version of  Sophia Vergara of Modern Family fame. (The young lady in the spectacular red dress – and very tidy LBD - -is Ana Karla Suarez, a model and dancer with Havana Cuba's Ballet Lizt Alfonso, according to information on the Internet. Follow her on Twitter, if you dare.)

 

Contigo, Indeed

Bailando is an international hit in Spanish-speaking countries (305,000,000 views for the Spanish language video, on YouTube, only 35 million hits for the English-language version) and is getting a tremendous amount of airplay on English-language radio in the U.S. as well.  (And pay special attention to the female dancers dribbling and heading soccer balls in the video starting at 2:41 – I defy you to point out a similar scene combining athletics and dance in a previous music video - amazing!)

The song is also very popular in our gringo household as well.  We have affectionately nicknamed Bailando the Paul Revere Song.  That’s because the song clearly states that the signal for dancing with you is one if by-land-o and two if by-sea-o.  Bah-dum-bum.

Try the veal, I’ll be here all week. Remember to tip your waitress.  

 

AMDG

 

© 2012-21 R.E. Kelly

 

Slammin' Sammy Holds On

Lost amid all the hoopla over whether Tiger Woods will break Jack's record of 18 major golf tournament victories is the potential futility Tiger may experience chasing another amazing career record.  Slammin’ Sammy Snead owns the record for total PGA victories with 82. Tiger is sitting right behind him at 79, having passed Jack Nicklaus’s  total of 73 PGA victories in 2012.  Snead is one of the top 5 all-time golfing greats.  Among his many records is the fact that Snead is the oldest player to win a PGA Tour event: age 52 years, 10 months, 8 days at the 1965 Greater Greensboro Open, a tournament he won eight times.  Amazingly athletic, Snead was proud of the fact that he could leap from a standstill to kick the top of a seven-foot door.  Not only is catching the Golden Bear becoming less likely with each passing tournament, Woods’ catching Snead has now become less likely as well.  

And never concede a putt

AMDG^TM

© 2012-17 R.E. Kelly

Headline: Tiger Expects To Win PGA

CBS Sports.com reported that, with respect to the 2014 PGA Championship starting tomorrow, "Asked if he expected to win this weekend, Tiger answered, 'Yes'".

Of course Tiger answered "Yes". What was he going to say, "I'm just here for the rides in the courtesy car"?  Like any great champion, Tiger will always believe he can win any tournament he enters.  Before he tees off.  Once on the course, Tiger has about as much chance of winning another major as I do.  He's done.

The Valhalla website states that " In Norse mythology, Valhalla was the Great Hall of Odin, where the bravest warriors who had died in battle lived forever. Every morning they went out to battle; every evening they returned; their wounds were tended; they drank and feasted and listened to tales of great valor."  Tiger was a brave warrior, but at this point in his career he is relegated to recounting tales of great valor on the golf course, not creating new ones.   

PGA Prediction:  The golf gods in Valhalla remember Tiger in 2000, and Bob May, and say "Genug".  Eldrick fails to make the cut..

The Real Valhalla

The Golden Bear’s Majors Record Preservation Society Part III 2014

All right, gentlemen, let’s get started.  Hear ye, hear ye, with the 2014 Open Championship concluded and the 2014 PGA Championship about to begin at the aptly-named Valhalla Golf Club, the third meeting of The Golden Bear’s Majors Record Preservation Society in the year 2014 will now come to order.  (Gavel slams on banquet table, drinks spill, another round quickly ordered.)  Mr. Hogan, are all the former champions here? 

Yes, Mr. Jones.  No bridesmaids were invited, so Mr. Garcia, the new King of the Bridesmaids (we hardly knew ye, Mr. Mickelson), is not here.  I am not one given to speechifying, but we wish Mr. Garcia good luck this week as he seeks his first win in a Major tournament.  He’s not likely to win, given Mr. McIlroy’s presence in the field,  but some of us who favor underdogs will be rooting for him anyway.

Thank you, Mr. Hogan.   So, let’s be brief.  Mr. Woods withdrew from Firestone last week and is questionable to participate in this tournament this week, so, Slammin’ Sammy, are you good?

Yes, Mr. Jones.  Safe and sound with my 82 wins.

Mr. Nicklaus, you of the game with which I am still not familiar, you and Rory, are you good with your 18 wins?

Yes, Bobby, I am, although that young  McIlroy fella is beginning to worry me.  If he wins this week he’ll have four majors at age 25, same as me.  He could be the real threat, not Tiger, with his bad back at his advanced golf age. 

All right then.  We are convened until we meet again next week.  Let’s see how the golf gods  welcome the new king, Rory. 

 

This Isn't Rory!

Speaking of eighteen, the following is a parody of one of Rock’s great golfers, Vincent Damon

Furnier, er, Alice Cooper,  and one of his best songs, which, while an anthem of teen angst, way before its time,  perfectly presages Woods’ struggles to break the most impressive of golf’s records. 

I'M EIGHTEEN (Original Song)

Songwriter/Composer:

Michael O. Bruce

Glen Buxton

Alice Cooper

Dennis Dunaway

Neal A. Smith

Publishers

BMG Platinum Songs US

EMI Blackwood Music inc.

Ezra Music Corp.

Third Palm Music

IN NEED EIGHTEEN (Parody)

Lines form on my face and hands

Lines form don’t get up and down

I'm stuck in neutral without any wins

I'm a boy and Jack’s the man

I need eighteen and I sure know what I want

Eighteen, I just don't know if I can

Eighteen, I got to past the Bear

I gotta get out of this space,

I'll go gunnin' at Augusta next, woh yeah!

I've got a Tiger’s brain, miss my old man's heart

Took thirty-eight years to get this far

Don't always know what my swing is about

Feels like I'm living in the downswing of doubt

'Cause I need eighteen, I get confused ev'ry game

Eighteen, I just don't know how to play

Eighteen, I've got to make my way

Lines form on my face and my hands

Time squeezes from the left and right

I'm in the middle, the middle of life

I was a boy and now an old man

I'm eighteen and I like it

Yes I like it

Woh, I like it, love it, like it, love it

Eighteen, eighteen, eighteen, eighteen, woh!

I need eighteen I can’t take it

Yes I need it

Woh, I want it, need it, want it, need it

Eighteen, eighteen, eighteen, eighteen, woh!

And I need it

Yes eighteen

And I want it

Yes eighteen

Yes, I need it

Yes eighteen

Woh, I want it

I need eighteen

And I want it

Yes eighteen

Woh, I want it, need it, want it, need it, want it, need it, want it

I need it

I need it

I need it

                                                                                         

_AMDG^TM

^{Copyright R.E. Kelly 2012-2014}