Tell The Truth

One of the great songs in rock history,  originally performed by one of the greatest bands in rock history,  including one of the greatest rock musicians in history (I think you get the idea)  is Tell the Truth on the Derek and the Dominoes album Layla And Other Assorted Love Songs.  The front man, of course, is Eric Clapton.  

And The Cover Art Was Extraordinary As Well

Telling the truth, never an easy task for homo sapiens,  seems to be a particularly difficult skill for public figures in the 21st century.  Robert Allenby is sticking to his story despite credible contradictions to the facts in his story.   And, of course,  Tiger Woods’ story regarding his recent dental issues seems full of holes as well.  While the issue of the

Painful, Regardless

truthfulness of Woods’ story pales in comparison to real world issues involving mass pain and suffering (and to a lesser extent, to the Allenby situation, whose face was a mess, regardless of the provenance of the injuries), there is a consistent underlying theme here, i.e., it doesn’t matter what a public figure tells the media.  Coverups are commonplace, but they are wrong.  On the other hand,  the media’s constant skepticism concerning such stories is admittedly disconcerting as well.  But there comes a point when you wonder, can you blame the media?  Why don’t we all just agree to tell the truth and accept it when we hear it.  In the meantime, listen to Clapton tell it. 

"Tell The Truth" 

Writer(s): Eric Clapton, Eric Patrick Clapton, Bobby Whitlock, Lowman Pauling
Copyright: Throat Music Ltd., Lark Music Inc., Trio Music Co. Inc., E P Clapton, Embassy Music Corporation

Tell the truth. Tell me who's been fooling you?
Tell the truth. Who's been fooling who?

There you sit there, looking so cool
While the whole show is passing you by.
You better come to terms with your fellow men soon, cause...

The whole world is shaking now. Can't you feel it?
A new dawn is breaking now. Can't you see it?

[Chorus]

It doesn't matter just who you are,
Or where you're going or been.
Open your eyes and look into your heart.

The whole world is shaking now. Can't you feel it?
A new dawn is breaking now. Can't you see it?
I said see it, yeah, can't you see it?
Can't you see it, yeah, can't you see it?
I can see it, yeah.

Hear what I say, 'cause every word is true.
You know I wouldn't tell you no lies.
Your time's coming, gonna be soon, boy.

AMDG^TM

© 2012-15 R.E. Kelly

Fantasy Golf Is Back!

I haven't even finished my Great Expectations post for the 2015 season and fantasy golf is already back in action.  The boys are teeing it up at the Hyundai Tournament of Champions at the Kapalua Resort in lovely downtown Kapalua, Hawaii (see below) even as we speak.  My starting lineup for the season opener was Bubba Watson leading off, the two hot golfers at the end of 2014, Chris Kirk and Billy Horschel, in the 2 and 3 holes, and Geoff Ogilvy batting cleanup.  I have subbed in the Kooch for Horschel starting in the second round, so we will see if Kuchar can lead the Golf Album Bloggers to victory in Week One.

Wish You Were Here?  Me, Too.

AMDG^TM

© 2012-15 R.E. Kelly

The Life Of A Goof

If one has a sense of humor, (and I assume you do if you are reading this) then no reading experience is complete without reading P.G. Wodehouse.    Born in 1881 in the UK, Wodehouse spent the last 73 years of his life writing some of the funniest stories in the English language,  He created immortal characters such as Jeeves, and  Bertie Wooster. His lampoons of the aristocratic class are savage and on point.  But for us readers, Wodehouse’s lifelong love of golf is most important.  He wrote several books about golf, many of which are narrated by the Oldest Member of Wodehouse’s fictional golf club.  The stories are simply hilarious, must reading for every duffer with a sense of humour.  Just as one’s life reading list must include S.J. Perlman, Robert Benchley and James Thurber, Wodehouse is required reading for the humorist in our souls as well.

Unadulterated Genius - Ask Jeeves!

Here are some examples of his wit and wisdom concerning the greatest game on earth:

Men capable of governing empires fail to control a small white ball, which presents no difficulties whatever to others with one ounce more brain than a cuckoo clock. I wish to goodness I knew the man who invented this infernal game. I'd strangle him.

The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows.

The only way of really finding out a man's true character is to play golf with him. In no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.

What is Love compared with holing out before your opponent?

And finally:

Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.

The parody below was inspired by a Wodehouse story in which a man observes a golf lesson being given to his girlfriend  inside the home by another gentleman friend.  Wodehouse’s character mistakes the golf lesson  for something entirely different.   

The Uproar of the Butterflies

Imagine, as Wodehouse does, that you are viewing the action from the rear, a situation in which a man is nestled against the female with his arms around her, holding a golf club.  Since the viewer cannot see the club, it is reasonable for the viewer to misapprehend the explicit verbal instructions concerning holding an object about waist level, to his girlfriend, with a firm grip.  Double entendres abound.  Pronate, baby, supinate!

ANYWAY YOU WANT IT

Performed by Journey

Songwriter/Composer:

Steven Ray Perry

Neal J. Schon

Publishers:

Lacey Boulevard music

Weed High Nightmare Music

Any way you grip it
That’s the way to rip  it
Any way you grip it

She loves to golf
She loves to swing
She shakes everything
She loves to hook
She loves to slice
She loves the golfin’ things

Ooh, all round, all round
Oh, every round
So grip right, grip tight
Ooh baby rip it

Oh, she said,
Any way you grip it
That’s the way to rip  it
Any way you grip it
She said, Any way you grip it
That’s the way to rip  it
Any way you grip it


I played alone
I never knew
What twosome golf could do
Ooh, Then we played
rode the same cart
and it was all over

Ooh, all day, all day               
Oh, every day
So swing right, swing right
Ooh baby, supinate

Oh, she said,
Any way you grip it
That’s the way to rip  it
Any way you grip it
She said, Any way you grip it
That’s the way to rip  it
Any way you grip it

AMDG^TM

© 2012-15 R.E. Kelly