The Chili Dip Blues

Just so’s you all don’t think this tremendously clever parodying is entirely someone else’s work, I have an original composition for all you TGA blogfans out there.  It’s called the Chili Dip Blues.

 

Not This...

Now all of you readers should know what a chili dip is (not from firsthand experience, of course – you’ve only seen your buddies hit them.)  For those of you unfamiliar with the term,  a "chili dip" is a slang term in golf that most golfers use to describe chip shots (short shots with a lofted club like a wedge or nine-iron) - that are hit fat.  Hitting a shot fat means you hit the ground far behind the ball with the clubhead, so that you dig up lots of turf and barely hit the ball.   The result of a chili dip is a golf ball that doesn't go very far, possibly moving only a few feet or barely at all. Not a very good shot, in other words, and one guaranteed to evoke guffaws of laughter from the other members of your foursome. 

.... This

The most famous chili dip in recent memory was committed during John Daly’s playoff win in the British Open in 1995 in a playoff with Italian golfer Costantino Rocca at St Andrews. Needing a birdie on the final hole of the tournament to force a playoff with Daly. Rocca's long drive on the 18^th hole was only yards to the left of the green, but his second shot was a disaster, a classic chili dip that moved just a few feet, then rolled into the famous Valley of Sin, a completely embarrassing shot with the whole world watching. Watch Here at 1:25.  Costa’s Chili Special left him with a 70-foot putt from the brink of the Valley for a birdie.  Astonishingly, after chunking the chip like a regular duffer Rocca sunk the miraculous putt to tie Daly and force a playoff, flopping to the ground in celebration and disbelief to punctuate his accomplishment.   But it was not to be Rocca’s day, as Daly won the playoff by four shots.

Now, because this song is an original composition, and the blues are such a personal musical idiom, am not going to lay down a melody for you.  So, be inspired, reach inside that music box inside your head, find those flattened scales, hum a few blue notes, mix in some shuffles and get in a groove. 

Otis, My Man

Bluesman Otis Rush said that “A guy will promise you the world and give you nothin', and that's the blues.”  When you stand over a chip shot ten yards from the green, your dollar Nassua and six sidebets riding on getting down in two, golf promises the hope of victory, it’s right there in your grasp.  But golf gives you nothing, and after you gag yourself into a chili dip, and you’ve blown your match, you got to sing da blues, brother.  And I’ve got just the song.

THE CHILI DIP BLUES

Music by Daniel O'Connell

Lyrics by Robert E. Kelly and Daniel O'Connell

I got the Chili Dip Blues, I got ‘em all day long

I got the Chili Dip Blues' I got ‘em all day long

When I need to hit that wedge so right, I hit it oh so wrong.

I crush a drive, hit it right on the screws I'm gon' take lots of money from these fools

I pull out my wedge and, damn, I got the Chili Dip Blues.

                                                                        Chorus

The wedge is such a magic wand when you hit it right

But, man, it's such a nasty thing when your throat gets tight

And when its fat you know its dat, the divot brings the news

so when the ball's still at your feet, you got the Chili Dip Blues

Walkin’ up the 18th fairway, got 15 yards to the pin

I got to knock it stiff, cause there's five ways I can win

There's tons of trouble off the back, so Lord, please God, don't let me

hit it thin

                                                                        Chorus

The wedge is such a magic wand when you hit it right

But, man, it's such a nasty thing when your throat gets tight

And when its fat you know its dat, the divot brings the news

so when the ball's still at your feet, you got the chili Dip Blues

I took it back, I was cool, no way that I could lose

the wedge came down, hit ball and ground, that god damn divot flew

No way I'm gonna suffer this time, from the Chili Dip Blues

We walk into the clubhouse, where the losers pay their dues

My friends are smilin' at me, they're orderin up all kinda booze

Wouldntcha know, even at the 19th hole, I got the Chili Dip Blues.

AMDG
 

© R.E. Kelly 2012-20222